My back hurts.

Could have been anything really: actually sitting at my desk for 8 hours a day for the first time in my life, also sitting on my couch for 8 hours a day, aging 32 years in the past week. I dunno. Regardless, my back hurts.

This meal is brought to you by my favorite back-friendly sponsors:

• These Crackers Have Been Open A While
• Zero Mold Goat Cheese
• The Yellow Celery Collective
• The Semi-Shriveled Tomato Club
• and, HuMMMus

Your back does not have to hurt for you to enjoy this lunch, but it is recommended that you eat at your desk while answering emails to demonstrate to the world that you’re not going to cower in front of the lessons its trying to teach your 87-year-old body.