Worried that overpriced hipters food will no longer be an option with the impending economic doom? Learn how to make hipster food at home (and wonder why you ever paid an extra two dollars for siracha aioli)!
Tofu Bites
- Press a block of tofu – i.e., wrap it in an old cloth (think of it as a mummy, if you like) and lay something heavy such as a cast iron pan on top of it to extract water (think of this as creating a visualization of what anxiety feels like, if you like)
- Once your tofu has lost enough water (about an hour), or more likely, that you wander aimlessly into the kitchen and remember that you started this process, cut it into about 16 equal rectangles.
- Make a mixture of nutritional yeast, panko bread crumbs, salt, and any spices you like (er, have on hand – buying a random spice that you are missing probably isn’t worth virus spread). Dredge the tofu bites and drizzle with olive oil.
- Layer in the basket of an airfryer (if you have one that has been sitting in the basement since you received it, and boredom has led you to experiment). Or bake at about 375 degree for 12-15 minutes. Pair with hipster sauce: two parts veganaise and one part siracha.
Kale
- Look in your fridge and see what random things that might pair well with kale, you have on hand. Ideas include almonds (which must be toasted), lemon, parmesan cheese, caramelized (not roasted) onions or shallots, apple, or literally anything that sounds good. What makes this millennial is the kale, but you will get extra points for Braggs liquid animos, seseame oil, and/or coconut bacon.
- Toast any nuts in a dry pan. Then caramelize any onions or shallots, or perhaps apples. Then sauté kale in evoo, and add the rest back in.
- Send a photo of the meal to the person who gave you the airfryer 6 months ago, so they know you use it all the time.
